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I carry a personality trait that less than 1% of the population carries, most popularly known as an INTJ (Intuitive, Introvert, Thinker, Judger). It’s scary thinking you have the mind of someone 20+ years older than you stuck in your head. My father and grandfather seem to have the same trait.
I’m at an impasse. Relationships, friendships as well as romantics, have always been perplexing for me. I have some good friends, ones who I have known for a long time, but far too few and that bothers me. I simply can’t relate to most people and that’s what I crave the most. It is some sort of spiritual connection to get above the trivial things in life. I take most things very seriously and notice patterns in behavior. I spend too much time analyzing the situation and not the reality of it. Sometimes I’m up through the whole night trying to figure something out that makes no sense to me the next day but later comes back to haunt my mind, that is, if I’m even able to sleep it off.
I think what most people call intuition is just really fast non-verbal thinking. The best way I can describe it is that I focus too much what’s happening behind the scenes (like the routines that are processed in the windows behind the one that is on the screen you are looking at right now. Scary isn’t it?). Then suddenly an answer appears. What people can’t understand is that for me, this is going on all the time in my head (and I mean all the time!) Things get way too complex for me to verbalize it. I have to deny who I am to do something.
One thing that helped me was a presentation made by Dennis Morgan, a professor at my college. Morgan made an appearance one morning with the crew team and presented the idea that your mission in life should be to “find your hidden treasure” and not try to be better than everyone else or envy his or her traits.
I believe the development of human relations and communicating is the number one inhibitor to the people of my trait. They say we’re the visionaries of our time and our challenge is to influence our talents to the world.